Effects on Children of Divorce/Separation
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Effects of divorce on families |
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In 1995:
The Department of Health and Human Services reported 1,187,000 divorces
In Jefferson County, Kentucky, 4,650 couples were divorced, and approximately 4,200 children were involved in these families.
Over half of these children remain in families where parents remain angry with each other.
Two-thirds of these children will be at risk for anxiety, depression and behavioral problems (Wallerstein, 1984).
Approximately 40% of these families will return to court to settle issues of visitation, custody payments and child rearing.
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Developmental reactions to divorce |
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6 to 7 Year Olds
- are able to only deal with the "here and now"
- are more likely to talk about his or her feelings
- begin to assume responsibility for the family
- express anger and sadness
- avoid school and uses stomach aches or head aches as excuses to stay home
- feel rejected by non-custodial parent as if the parent left "them"
8 to 12 Year Olds
- become very angry at both parents or blames one parent for the divorce
- lose interest in school or a former favorite activity
- feel real grief, anxiety, loneliness and helplessness
- easily manipulated by parents against the other
- attempt to care for parents
- complain of head aches and stomach aches
- wonder about the immediate future
- experience problems with concentration
- attempt to get parents back together
13 to 18 Years Old
- become aware of the realities of divorce
- avoid being involved in parents' arguments
- worried about money, particularly as to how the lack of it may affect them
- experience loyalty conflict when one parent begins a new relationship
- experience increased sexual activity, alcohol, drug use, or acting out behavior
- manipulate parents in order to get more freedom, clothes, etc.
- worried about own future relationships, marriage, and parent's sexuality
- spend more time with friends outside the home
- desire a flexible schedule for visitation with the non-custodial parent
- desire parental contact and rules even though they don't act like it
- assume a parentified role with family members
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Children's divorce-related coping tasks |
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- Acknowledging the reality of the divorce and achieving a realist cognitive understanding of it
- Disengaging from the parental conflict and resuming the child's agenda
- Resolving the many losses that divorce imposes
- Resolving problems of anger and self-blame
- Acknowledging the permanence of divorce
- Achieving realistic hopes about one's future relationship.
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Parental behaviors that encourage child adjustment |
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- Responding appropriately to children's divorce-related behavior
- Encouraging a positive post-divorce relationship with the other parent
- Developing a cooperative parental relationship
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Program Goals |
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- Increase children's competence by teaching specific skills to identify divorce-related feelings in self and others.
- Reduce feelings of isolation and misconceptions about divorce.
- Increase children's awareness of how divorce affects their parents.
- Increase appropriate ways children respond to anger.
- Develop parental competence by teaching skills to handle children's divorce-related concerns, co-parental relationships, and parent-child relationships.
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How does the Families In Transition program differ from other divorce-adjustment programs? |
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The FIT program proves more practical information.
Classes are designed for both parents and children.
Parents and children can attend classes in the community near where they live and work.
Small group classes promote interaction and support.
Optional classes are available following the three required classes.
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FIT Curriculum |
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Emphasizes:
A supportive climate where children's feelings can be freely explored.
Acquisition of problem solving skills for divorce-related problems.
Methods for parents and children to develop better relationships with each other.
Strategies for developing parent-child support systems.
Coping strategies for divorce-related problems.
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